Wishing

I definetly recommend this book that I'm about to quote. Seriously, this book was funny and heartbreaking all at once. It's like no other book you've read before, I'll guarentee you that. Even though it's written from a boy's point of view, I can still relate to this story. Here you go:

"'I wish..." She starts, then shudders because she's crying. 'I wish it was the summer, Albert.'

I wish it was the summer, too.

I shake my head.

'It'll never be the summer again, Mia.'

'Can we pretend it is, just for tonight?', she asks.

I don't say anything at first, too much is going through my head, I'm confused, and it's not until I look up at her when I realize...

'Okay', I say. 'Hi, Mia.'

I try to say it cheerfully, but she frowns at me.

'That's not how you did it when we first met.'

'I don't follow.'

She raises her right hand, palm out, and stares at me gravely.

'How, Albert', she says.

I raise my hand, too.

'How, Mia.'

~ from Stop Me if You've Heard This One Before, p 372-373

Summertime

"In this job", Morgan told me after a dinner rush, "You get a lifetime of experience every day. A crisis will crop up, worsen, come to a head and resolve itself all in fifteen to thirty minutes. You don't even have time to panic. You just push through." ~ Morgan in Keeping the Moon, p. 51

I've always wanted to do that, and this year, I finally did:

Summertime is an incredible stretch of weeks that's a clean slate, the perfect time for anything to happen, and sometimes I wonder why it's not my favorite time of the year. There are many reasons why I love summer, and sometimes, I don't even notice them. And that's sad.

I love when the frogs and crickets hum lazily in the woods late at night, and staying at the beach all day, your hair curly and stiff from the saltwater and sand, face freckled from the sun. Then, once it's time to go and pack your things up, you just feel perfectly content sleeping the whole way home, the sounds of the beach still lingering, lingering in your head. I love sitting outside in the dark, the warm dirt and sweat on your forehead cooling, feet black from running around all day. I love taking pictures and laughing. I love eating ice cream, because sometimes, ice cream just seems to be able to melt all your troubles away. I love not caring about my hair or a schedule. I love swimming, pushing through the water slowly, and thoughtfully, and then diving under, cooling everything off, the only sound around you being the whirl of bubbles spinning around your head.
Gotta love that.

I was tagged by Sanchez (The Inky Finger Files) to fill in 12 likes, and 8 hates, like in Cassie's therapy video. So here's how mine turned out.
Acabradabra, wow!
I like boys with big green eyes and girls who can see themselves past a mirror.

I like 90's pop culture and classic rock.

I like the smell of oil paint, and the taste of black tea.

I like flats and legwarmers. Ray Bans also rock.

I like O.P.I.

I like those days when you're outside all day and are incredibly happy just sitting there.

I like windy back roads.

I like picking blueberries and peaches in the orchards.

I like mental health days.

I like homemaid chocolate chip cookies.

I like laying under my blankets in the morning when they're cozy and the air is shivery.

I like my neighbor, also my best friend.

I love the ocean.

Today I re-read my favorite stories over and had went swimming.
In some ways, I love everything. It's less, it's less of a thing to like, it's less distinct, it's less particular, I like things that I like but I love everything. There's more choice in like, cos even the worst things have things you love in them.

I hate the fact that it's hard for me sometimes to live in the moment.

I hate that everyone thinks they all have depression these days, and they need medication when they really don't.

I hate materialistic people.

I hate letting the sun go down on my anger.

I hate being restless and bored.

I hate the government.

I hate thinking so much, but in a way love it, because I've learned so much about life along the way.

I hate thinking about what I hate.

I hate this, wow...

Sorry.

I'm tagging laura marie (a diary of little things and curiousities), RaNdOM RAWR (RaNdOM RAWR), and Chloe (Butterfly Cupcakes & Daffodils).

The More Things Change

These are the kind of nights that make me remember,

with the smell of burning wood wafting through the air and weaving its way through the trees

and the summer air now cool, vivid, and alive.

They make me remember the butterflies,

the cooling sweat slicked across my skin that smelled of dirt and something else sweet,

and how we used to be happy.

They also make me remember how much I've changed, too.

21st Century Breakdown

Guess what? The title of this post actually doesn't apply to me for once. But yesterday it did.
I'm just so overwhelmed lately about everything. Life, death, wasting time, family, living in the moment, my self-esteem that I'm trying to keep up with. Sometimes, it feels like there's nowhere to run. I just want to pull the plug on my thoughts, which are going at warped speed, and say "Just shut up, keep quiet, and look around you." Some days, though, I don't have that strength to pull myself out of it.
That's where yesterday comes in.
I was just... sobbing into my pillow about nothing in particular. I mean, everything was going great. Blue skies, cookout later, nice and breezy out, and I wasn't grounded or anything. It all happened so fast. One minute I was sitting at the island with my mom while she made coffee cake for the party, and then before I knew it I felt like my brain was caving in. So when I was in my room, crying about how messed up I was, someone tapped at my door. It was my dad. He told me through the door that he was going to Home Depot, and asked if I wanted to come. At first I said no, I just wanted to be left alone. But then he said, "C'mon. I know how you're feeling; we're very similar that way." He paused. "I'll give you a few minutes to get ready." And then he left me to think. The way he said it made me finally get up, splash water onto my face, and get up.
So we went to Home Depot to get some things for the yard, and then to the flower shop for some rose bushes. He offered to get me a Coolada. It was just a silent trip, with the few occasional conversations. Even though I get mad at him, my dad makes me feel peaceful. It's really wierd, and so surreal.
The cookout was good, and I went swimming with my brother in my grandma's lake behind her house. The water was so warm, the air cool and breezy. It was nice. Then I dried off laying down on a lawn chair, listening to the water and the trees blow around in the wind. Now I've just been in a good mood since then. Reality checks are good every once in awhile. I love this quote, and I think about it whenever I'm about to do something hard. "Life begins when you've reached the end of your comfort zone." I agree sometimes
I was looking at websites for school clothes, and I found these cute jeans that I adore. I first saw them back in April, and everytime my mom and I would go to the Gap, I'd just stare at those jeans. I love them so much, and you can look at them here: http://www.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=58302&vid=3&pid=705599
Also more cute clothes that I want:
http://www.junkfoodclothing.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/Product1_10052_10051_-1_15211_14051_11553
http://www.ae.com/web/browse/product.jsp?catId=cat1410002&productId=1340_6250
http://www.famousfootwear.com/Shopping/ProductDetails.aspx?p=74249&pg=1018557
Here's a picture that makes me happy.
This picture is exactly what I love about summer. If only I could be the one lying there forever...

Who are you?

I'm guessing that's what you're wondering. Well, I'll tell you who I am. "On my own, here we go"...

Q: Who are you?
A: 1. My internet name is Jade. I chose this because it was the second option my mom would've named me.
2. I'm fifteen years old. Some say I'm an old soul from another land. And sometimes, I believe them.
3. I have very wild curly hair that I'm always trying to straighten and keep smooth, but somewhere, my hair always seems to curl again.
4. Purple is my favorite color.
5.My favorite bands are Green Day, Nirvana, The Smashing Pumpkins, The Cranberries, Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, No Doubt, Lady Gaga, The Red Hot Chilli Peppers, and Heart. I love radio 92.9 and 100.1 to pieces. The rest (most of it) is junk.
5. I'm always trying to figure out who I am.
6. I'm always analyzing.
7. I love black tea.
8. I love where I live, all the windy roads and trees.
9. I love to write, paint, and draw.
10. I hate school. Don't get me wrong, I love to learn. It's the school atmosphere I don't like. I feel like a prisoner there. *Sighs* When, summer, when are you coming back?
So, that's one little piece to my puzzle.