Chamelean

The people I most love in my life are the people that I've originally hated when I first met them (not counting family, I love them always!). Weird, but true.

It happens when someone's bold, or laughing in front of me when I think they're laughing at me. Or if I think they're in love with themselves. And then afterwards, when I'm thinking about it later... I realize how wrong I am. Because that boldness? That's confidence. And the laughing? They're actually incredibly funny, so much that you have to keep yourself from laughing at everything that comes out of their mouths. And being in love with yourself... well, they have amazing self-esteem, so much they're willing to wear their hearts on their sleeves, and say what needs to be said. When I think about all of this, I start to think about how wrong I can be about someone. What do you know? Someone I first meet that I think is annoying... actually becomes one of my best friends :) My personality is somewhat like Remy from This Lullaby in a way... without the boldness (ha, ha). So far, I've misjudged (counts on fingers) at least nine people that I can think of right now. And here I am, always talking about judging people being a bad thing, when I do it all the time (hides face in shame). Have you ever misjudged someone as a bad person, when it turns out that they're really good?

A Perfect Pair

I feel like I've known these new friends of mine for years, all of us huddled around one big table in class. Every one of us is completely different, but we all fit together perfectly, like a puzzle.
The girl next to me, curly-haired, tall, and skinny, is like an old soul, someone who sees potential in everything and everyone around her, reaching out to take you in. She's kind of serious, kind of quirky, and she's one of the most real people I've ever met.
There's another girl across from me, dark-haired with a bubbly personality and a wide smile. She's the kind of girl who gets her nails done prefessionally and carrys around metallic-colored purses, with her dark cat-eye makeup. But she's also stubborn and sarcastic, nowhere near sweet. More like me.
And then the girl diagonal from me, the quietest of all of us, is the one I'm most fascinated with. Her appearance is striking, with bright red skinny jeans and jet black hair that clashes with her fale white skin. She's very thin, as well as tall, almost as if she were a model. But she's hidden and shy, and hates how she looks. She feels as if people are constantly looking at her, like she was ugly. But she's just the opposite. Her eyes are wide and a dark brown, and her skin is smooth, and her features are well defined and suited for her face. Today was the first time she spoke to me, but then again, actions speak louder than words, right?
All four of us, huddled around our one big table, were meant to be. Somehow, it all works out.

Dark Brown Locks

Out in the rain, in thick, wet sheets that make the hairs on your arms stand up, he leans over the porch, staring out into the dark, cold afternoon. His face is unusually flushed from the cold, and his hands are intertwined in one another, as he leans foward, staring out into that dark, cold afternoon. His hair is matted down and dark, a lot longer than usual, the strands drooping in his eyes, but he doesn't fix them. His eyes are heavy, lined with memories, on that dark rainy afternoon, and he doesn't want anybody to know they're there, but I can see through that, all his pain, hidden behind dark locks of deep brown hair. That's what he doesn't know.

Bitter Serendipity

Some days aren't good, or bad, but a mixture of both. Today wasn't a completly bad day, but it also wasn't perfect. These are the days that leave me wondering: which one is it?Two periods before we got out of school, one of my sort-of-friends smiles at me, and says, "You know, you look so pretty with your hair up, and that color shirt. Because of both those things, you look twice as pretty as usual." I swear, I couldn't stop smiling. Because nobody knows that I'm self-consious about my hair being up, that I think I don't look good. Like it a message to me, that yes, I actually do look good the way I am. Isn't it funny how we don't see ourselves how others see us, and that the way others see us are a lot better than our own perspective?
When I got home, it felt actually nice out, so I sat on the porch and just closed my eyes, pretending that I was actually sitting on the beach, and not at my house with the snow still on the ground. And then, after that, I went in and... I don't know. I felt pulled in two directions, with this decision that I had to make that second. I'm not great at split-second thinking, and I constantly go back and forth with what I might want, so this automatically overwhelmed me. Then, he came over, and I just felt mortified, as I stood there, practically crying. I was yelled at, and then when everyone left, I just sat on the porch in silence, staring straight ahead.
But after that, something pulled me to coming back inside. I dunno, call it a gut feeling, but my little kitten was at the door, waiting for me. Like she just knew.
So... I picked her up (her automatically purring, her warm body vibrating against my chest) and took her into my room, to sit down and play with her. I put my decoration pillows on the floor and piled them up like big towers, and lifted up my comforter so she could explore inside it. All the while she kept nuzzling me and following me around. I'm a huge softy when it comes to animals, so she just put me in a better mood.
I love cats. They just look so lithe, and lanky, and elegant.

So, what do you think? Overall, it felt okay, this day. But now I'll stop talking about it. I don't want to miss another second of the still-light, ocean-feeling day.

Hey, You

Every time I'm walking down the hall, I keep seeing two faces in my mind.
The first one is easy to identify, like the back of my hand would be. I've heard this voice so many times, it's incredible I still blush around him. Bright blue eyes -intense- like my own, and rosy cheeks that get pink when he laughes, and a head of light brown hair that looks a tint blonde and red in the sunlight. He's the quiter one in his family, the one who watches everything while the rest of the world goes on around him. But he always smiles at me when he sees me in the hall, sometimes just saying my name, other times walking right up to me to talk (or ask for gum). He's the kind of guy you'd be willing to wait for out in the freezing rain if he asked you to. The kind of guy that would turn anyone's world upside down, the arms you'd want to fall into if you just needed someone. And it would all be worth it.
But the other face, the other lingering pair of eyes in the crowds that catch my own with a lurching feeling in my stomach, is a boy that is like a mismatched pair of sneakers clashing with a dress. Different. A musician, and a writer, a lover of all music (who happens to worship Green Day, too). His dark eyes are deep and intense, catching my own occasionally, and he has a full head of dark dark brown hair, and pale skin. The desk drummer, is basically what he is. Last year we sat together because of my other friend (who's loud), and at one point he just looked at me and started talking. He was nice, but just so serious, as in passionate and deep about everything. A person just like me.
Two faces. Two pairs of lingering eyes. One girl.

One.

Candy Necklaces

Which do you think is better?

A. Traditional high school experience. Football games. Prom and a cute guy. SCHOOL SPIRIT!!! Happy-go-lucky.

or

B. Do what you want.

I guess I'm kinda in denial. I don't know. Something inside me says, "Just do what everyone else is doing. Go to prom. Participate during school spirit weeks. You'll never get it back."

But another voice inside my head, one a bit quieter is saying, "You're better off doing what your comfortable doing. Show the world just how much you're willing to stay true to yourself. Scare people."

It's just...

which one is right?

In Your Dreams

So lift up my chin

and streak my face with red,

then ask me what's said

and what's never said.

My life lies

behind

blue eyes.

Catch me

in your dreams.

Chex Mix and Pies

There's just something about that March that was so amazing. Was it the fact that I was carefree and just so bold? Or was it because I met two of the most incredible people out there, looking in at their worlds? Maybe it was because I didn't know things were gonna be amazing. Maybe it was the chilly air. Or the smell of his hair. Or my sneakers that I adored and yeah, ruined from wearing so much. I don't know. But I do know this: I can't stop thinking about that winter.

Come On

To You,

I don't want to be judged. Well, I guess I do. Judge me head-on. Let me scare you with what I'm capable of, what I know that you think I don't. Let me show you what I know, let me take your hand and let you escape into my world with me. Come on.

Is it that I'm different than the kind of girl you're used to? You know what girls I'm talking about, the ones that let you talk about other girls in front of them, and let you slip a hand around her waist, such an easy guesture. I don't hate them for being the way they are. But guess what? I'm just not one of those girls. So why are you trying to make me become one?

Or wait. Does it scare you that I'm so sure about myself? Maybe you've just never met a girl willing to turn your world upside down, not the other way around (cliche).

Welcome to my world.

~Me

P.S. Sorry for not posting my artowork like I said I would. My computer's acting funky on me at the moment.

Millions of Cutout Faces

Envying gazes,

Cutout faces;

Our lingering lies,

And broken amber eyes.

Her dull eyes faintly rest on the camera while flashing a beautiful smile, even as she thinks to herself, "I'm so stupid."

Who are you?

I'm guessing that's what you're wondering. Well, I'll tell you who I am. "On my own, here we go"...

Q: Who are you?
A: 1. My internet name is Jade. I chose this because it was the second option my mom would've named me.
2. I'm fifteen years old. Some say I'm an old soul from another land. And sometimes, I believe them.
3. I have very wild curly hair that I'm always trying to straighten and keep smooth, but somewhere, my hair always seems to curl again.
4. Purple is my favorite color.
5.My favorite bands are Green Day, Nirvana, The Smashing Pumpkins, The Cranberries, Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, No Doubt, Lady Gaga, The Red Hot Chilli Peppers, and Heart. I love radio 92.9 and 100.1 to pieces. The rest (most of it) is junk.
5. I'm always trying to figure out who I am.
6. I'm always analyzing.
7. I love black tea.
8. I love where I live, all the windy roads and trees.
9. I love to write, paint, and draw.
10. I hate school. Don't get me wrong, I love to learn. It's the school atmosphere I don't like. I feel like a prisoner there. *Sighs* When, summer, when are you coming back?
So, that's one little piece to my puzzle.