Smile and Nod

Nothing much to say today.
Feel like a little kid.
I want to stay that way.
People are innocent, and life is simple.
At least, it is today.
No more thinking, please.
I just want to smile at this kitten, log out, and bundle up in a blanket in the living room with hot tea.
See you later, alligator :)
(If you're confused by my weird post, just go with it. I'm too happy and whimsical right now to think.)

Scream At Me Until My Ears Bleed

I've always considered myself seperate from everyone else, a sore thumb.
Q: Do you still think this now?
A: Yes and no...
...That's what I've always wanted someone to say to me. "Just tell me everything. Scream at me until my ears bleed." Basically, I just want someone to listen. I need to tell someone. And now, finally, after months of blogging about the fact that nobody understands me and the fact that I'm so different, I think someone actually does.
During this year, in one of my classes, there's this girl who's artsy and very particular about everything she says and does. And she sits next to me, so she starts to talk to me, gradually at first (Hi, bye), and then now a couple of months have passed and we've sort of become friends. I have other close friends, but this girl... she just understands me completely. It's an incredible feeling, knowing that there's someone out there besides your family that knows what makes you smile, your little quirks, and funny beta fish stories :) All my other friends are very different from me, and I know they say that opposites attract, but sometimes those differences make talking about deep things hard. My other friends aren't as deep as me. Just her.
Q: What kind of friendship do you like?
A: I love sleepovers, and telling stories under the covers, our heads hidden.I love friends that still ask you what's wrong......even when you respond, "Shut up, why bother?"
I love friends that know everything about you, even the most embarassing things that you'd never tell your mom.
I like friends that are open and honest, no worries, that tell you when something is ugly or if you're being a complete jerk. 'Cause that's just what friends should do.
I love taking walks around the neigborhood and just spilling everything to eachother, stomach in knots from laughing too hard.
That, to me, is true friendship.

Honestly, this summer was a turning point for me. I had to just deal with some tough things, by myself, and now, things have turned around completely for me.

...And now I'm screaming.

Mush

I have this notebook. It's purple and just a plain old 1 subject notebook with the metal spirals on it, and I write everything I can think of in it. I write a lot of poems for fun that I'll never show anybody but myself, and it's all in that notebook, along with little passages to books I've written for fun, and quotes, and song lyrics. Sometimes I even print out little posts from other peoples blogs that I think are incredible and tape them onto the pages, and they don't even know it. Someone's gonna find it, they will, and that's okay with me. In fact, I want somebody to find it, to read it all, and most important, to understand every little secret I'm keeping. I've been writing and drawing in that notebook all day. Today is just one of those days where it's been pouring since last night off and on and all there is to do is sit around in your pajamas and spend the whole day writing and drinking cup after cup of tea, and then at night watch a movie with salted Jiffy Pop on the couch. So that's what I've been doing, and loving every moment, pushing that nagging voice saying stop being lazy and get up and do something useful to the side for awhile to just enjoy myself. It's that kind of day where it's okay to eat a spoonfull of sugary frosting all to yourself, or look at pictures on weheartit.com all day till your brain turns to mush. So be it.

I love mental health days. And frosting's good, too.

Comfort Food

It's comforting to know that something so simple and lovely can bring a smile to even a tear-streaked face.