Jade's Envelope

I think I talked about that feeling you get when you want to shout "Eureka! Eureka!" before in one of my oldest posts, titled Dream House. If you want to get the gist of it, you should go to June, and it should be there.
...But anyway...
I got that feeling again, that spark of inspiration, actually, when I was turning on my computer. So here I go.
People always talk about New Year's Resolutions, and how they would like to make a major impact on their lives during this year (like always). But, be real with me, how many things do you actually accomplish in the course of one year? I mean, those goals? *Crickets* Yeah. That's what I thought. So why not record those so-called etched in stone goals of yours?
That's what I'm going to do this year, hence the title. Here's the rules that I'm going to set for myself:Write your goals on scraps of paper, inspiration, and anything else that comes to mind.
No peeking at your old scraps of paper till next year! 2012 (ooooh, Dooms Day, ha, yeah right).
Try to accomplish as many of your goals as possible.
Write a note to yourself every month, the little bits of info, like, favorite song at the moment, obsessions, stuff like that.
DON'T. SHOW. ANYONE.
And that's it.

I might post pictures of this soon. It's a work in progress, I guess.

*ALSO* A must-read book is "Loser/Queen" by Jodi Lynn Anderson. Just trust me on this. Don't even read the back. Just buy it. Sad, but soooo good. That's all.

It's So She Can Fly

I need to do something. I need to do something out of the ordinary. Something unlike me, or maybe, even something true to me instead of what I've been doing, which is nothing. I've been hiding, I've been crying, I haven't been living. I've been a pathetic mumbling mess complaining about the crap in my head even when my life is fine.
I want to take a midnight walk in the woods by myself and stare up at the wickedly ghostly trees overhead.
I want to do nothing but work outside for a whole day, and get that achy feeling at the end of it all, smiling to myself.
I want to take a risk.
I want clockwork to stop controlling me! Just because summer's gonna end, doesn't mean that all hope has to, too.
I want to smile and laugh and stop posting despressing posts.

I want to live.

Everyone sets these plans for themselves at the beginning of the summer, a list of what they want to accomplish and get done or start, and most of it never happens the way things were intended to. Plans change, people change. I'd say that I've changed in a way over the summer. I know I have, yet I still can't identify a specific day or week when it all changed. But I know I did.
I'm a work in progress. We all are, and always will be.

"I don't get it", Caroline said, bemused. "She's the only one with wings. Why is that?" There were so many questions in life. You couldn't ever have all the answers. But I knew this one. "It's so she can fly", I said. And then I started to run." ~ Macy in The Truth About Forever, p. 368