And then I wake up, confused and dissapointed. Oh, I think. Right. I don't talk to her anymore. And saying that to myself hurts.
My cousin and I are the same age, small and tiny, but we both look nothing alike. I'm pale and fair in general, my features softer, while she looks Italian with her dark hair, tan skin, and hazel eyes. But we both have curly hair. Naturally, at least. We always used to play with eachother at my grandparent's house when we were little, climbing trees and doing cartwheels across the lawn together. I can remember how much we were inseperatable when we had cookouts, when we begged our parents to have one another come home and sleep over. When I was thirteen, though, you could feel this easy friendship begin to tense up under the weight of being teenagers. I used to be jealous of my cousin, and I've always thought she was prettier than me. And she's been jealous of me because school comes easier to me in general. And then she started to change physically, cutting her hair choppy and piercing her lips with needles herself. Not that I'm steryotypical, it's not that. It's just... she's not the same quirky, hysterically funny girl anymore. She's mean, and bitter to everyone. So, trying not to get in the way of this, I've just stopped talking to her. I haven't seen her in almost a year. Really, I don't even know her anymore. Sometimes she doesn't even feel like my cousin that I loved and was best friends with for years.
... But is that bad, though?