Sometimes, putting things into lists always make me feel better, knowing that everything's organized and well thought out. Even while life's well, a
beautiful mess, it sometimes makes me feel better to pretend that things are organized.
What I want in a friend:1. Someone I can cry my hearts out to, and not expect them to say anything, instead only nod and hug me back.
2. To laugh with her so hard I can't breathe.
3. Someone who is okay with silence sometimes.
4. Someone who's not a mean girl.
5. Somebody who doesn't judge by appearence.
6. A girl who I can spill everything to.
7. The kind of girl that'd rock their Converses with me at prom, even in our girly girl dresses.
8. Someone who considers sarcasm another language that they're fluent in (just like me :)).
9. Who's not a cookie-cutter type of girl- and is okay with that.
10. Someone who loves to take walks and talk on the trampoline.
11. The kind of girl that makes time fly.
12. A girl who's a girl-version of Ducky from Pretty in Pink.
What I want in a guy:
1. Someone who's also my friend.
2. The kind of guy that'll give me his sweatshirt to wear.
3. The kind of guy who knows that he's not my number one priority, and I have a life besides him (doesn't that sound harsh? Whoops...).
4. He's not going to be mean to my friends and other people.
5. A guy who doesn't care about my looks, and will offer me an Oatmeal Cream Pie, even while other guys won't feed it to their girlfriends cause it's "fatening". Yeah, see how that goes.
6. Not to care about physical looks, but I would love to have a dark-haired boyfriend with pale eyes.
7. Someone that will treat me like a friend, not just a girl. You know what I mean.
What I want on my bucket list:
1. Color my hair purple or anything else colorful.
2. Travel Europe. Didn't see that coming, huh?...
3. Publish a novel.
4. Create my own line of clothing.
5. Meet someone worth remembering.
6. Hug Billie Joe (slim chance of this one. Like, .00001%)
7. Own a house on the ocean with a cat as my companion.
8. Own a bunny.
9. Eat a whole pack of bubble tape in one sitting. I've wanted to do this since I was seven :D
10. Marry my best friend... when I find him.
11. Knit a bag.
12. Design my dream house.
13. and whatever else comes my way
I wonder who is that girl looking back at me? Sometimes I disgust myself, other times I don't . It all depends on what day you ask me. It shocks me to see the changes in my face, the sharpness of my cheekbones that I don't remember being there a year or two ago. Or the fact that every winter, my freckles fade more and more, and now I have to squint to really see them. I'm changing. And I'm not sure if I'm okay with it.
There's something so chilling and exciting about being thirty feet up in the air, my sneakers pressed up against only the wild breezes that creep through your bones. Maybe it's because the only warmth and comfort is the person to your side, and you finally have an excuse to just hide in their shoulder. Or maybe it's the wonderful feeling of my teeth chattering in the cold. Whatever it is, I could be up in the air forever, living on only hope and the feelings of trust in the ride, and myself. I just have to do that. Trust.
My cousin has this tire swing. It's a worn-down black rubber tire so thin from years of tugging and hanging onto. Since it's been up for more than ten years, the tree branch that it's tied onto is kinda crooked and bent, hanging over us lifelessly. We used to twist it up till the rope was all bunched up, and then one of us would jump on it while the rope untwisted at what seemed like a hundred miles an hour. My cousin and I were best friends. She used to have this curly hair that was always wild and unkept, and she was always stringbean-thin, yet Coke was her heroine (and still is). But now, we don't even talk.My cousin, to say the least, got caught up with a bad crowd. We don't even say "hi" much when our families get together at Christmas. Mostly, because we're totally different. And now I feel so much younger, even while she's really younger than I am. But she doesn't even know that I miss her, and love her. I don't want to see my cousin hurt herself like this, but I don't know what to do. I can't tell her what I think, because I haven't seen her since spring, and she avoids all eye contact with me. I may say that's fine with me, but here I am, still young and innocent, left behind, rocking back and fourth on that tire swing still.
Sorry I'm not home right now
I love all the rituals there is with it. Eating candycorn. Apple-picking. Carving jack-o-lanterns, your fingers squishing together in the goop while trying to pull out the flesh and slimy seeds (sorry for the morbid-sounding visual). Spraying your hair with strong-smelling temporary hair dye. But my favorite part is the fact that people say that during this time of year, communication between ghosts and humans is paper-thin. You can believe what you want about this (kinda controversial) subject. This is just what floats my boat.
