Tuesday, October 19, 2010


My cousin has this tire swing. It's a worn-down black rubber tire so thin from years of tugging and hanging onto. Since it's been up for more than ten years, the tree branch that it's tied onto is kinda crooked and bent, hanging over us lifelessly. We used to twist it up till the rope was all bunched up, and then one of us would jump on it while the rope untwisted at what seemed like a hundred miles an hour. My cousin and I were best friends. She used to have this curly hair that was always wild and unkept, and she was always stringbean-thin, yet Coke was her heroine (and still is). But now, we don't even talk.My cousin, to say the least, got caught up with a bad crowd. We don't even say "hi" much when our families get together at Christmas. Mostly, because we're totally different. And now I feel so much younger, even while she's really younger than I am. But she doesn't even know that I miss her, and love her. I don't want to see my cousin hurt herself like this, but I don't know what to do. I can't tell her what I think, because I haven't seen her since spring, and she avoids all eye contact with me. I may say that's fine with me, but here I am, still young and innocent, left behind, rocking back and fourth on that tire swing still.


  1. I'm sorry but I don't know what to say you left me speechless. Its so touching, sweet, and innocent. Hopefully she'll come around they always do.


  2. You have an amazing way with words.
    Keep your head high, maybe she'll come around

  3. Your post was so honest and so deep and it really touched me. I'm in the same kind of situation with my best friend in elementary school. The other day I saw her walking in downtown while my dad and I were driving through... she got caught in a bad crowd as well.

  4. If you want advice, I say stick your head up high and smile through it.

    If you want my sympathy, you already have it (though I don't think you may want it).

    Your blog is quite lovely, though the subject matter isn't. I hope you'll have her on the swings again.

  5. Awwh, I know how it is, sometimes people get caught in bad crowds ,but she'll come around. <3

  6. Oh wow...I hate when things like this happen to people that used to be so close.
    You need to talk to her...because what if, you or her aren't here tomorrow? Don't you want to tell her that you miss her? She may feel like you stopped caring about you. You never know.


  7. Maybe she's just sitting and waiting for somebody to help her. Instead of starting with a sudden "I want to help you" maybe you could slowly start rebuilding your relation ship by writing "Hi! I haven't taked to you in so long!" on her facebook wall.
    I'm really glad you want to help her, I know that's what I'd want somebody to do for me.

  8. I feel your pain and I understand. Maybe you should give talking a go, just put yourself out there. You never know, she might miss you too. You'll regret it if you don't try. And, if she does snob you well, her loss.

  9. to all my lovely followers- thanks for all your comments about my cousin. it really means a lot to me that i can tell someone this and they respond, because i have no one in real life to talk to about this- or feel like i want to. it's too uncomfortable a subject, you know, to say out loud when you know people've always thought you're "fine just fine". breaking the ice can be difficult.
    about talking to her, well, i don't have a facebook (yeah, i know, i'm SOOO isolated :D) and we're probably not gonna see her till thanksgiving. so for now, i'll just be practicing what i'll say then..
    also, thanks for your comment ~Abby~! i especially like yours because i never thought about her thinking I hate HER. that's a good point, so, yeah, thanks :)

  10. I already commented on this post, but this is a reply to what you commented on my blog:
    First of all, thank you so much! Second, it's funny, because I actually just wrote about Aurora having a dream! It's not the same dream though, it's one that involves her dad. All of a sudden I love writing out bizzar dreams, it's really interesting. Once again, our minds thought the same way. It's a bit eerie(:

  11. Wow, this makes me so sad. I have - had - a best friend who changed a lot after she moved, so I know how you feel. There's not much you can do, sorry. But do try talking to her in person, and why not hang out sometime, just the two of you?

  12. Francesca- ha ha, that's so WEIRD. sometimes i wonder if we're just one person that's been seperated (don't think i'm insane!), it is odd how alike we think. i've never had someone as similar to me as you are.
    that's funny, i once wrote a two-page long description of this dream i had once. they're so addicting, huh?

    ЯANdOM ЯAWR- hey, that's okay :) i mostly wrote this just to vent... but i still do wish we'd be friends again, and daydream about it off and on every couple weeks.
    that's a good idea, hanging out with her. i might...

  13. heyhey, i have a tire swing 2. really fun :)