Friday, December 24, 2010

Scream At Me Until My Ears Bleed

I've always considered myself seperate from everyone else, a sore thumb.
Q: Do you still think this now?
A: Yes and no...
...That's what I've always wanted someone to say to me. "Just tell me everything. Scream at me until my ears bleed." Basically, I just want someone to listen. I need to tell someone. And now, finally, after months of blogging about the fact that nobody understands me and the fact that I'm so different, I think someone actually does.
During this year, in one of my classes, there's this girl who's artsy and very particular about everything she says and does. And she sits next to me, so she starts to talk to me, gradually at first (Hi, bye), and then now a couple of months have passed and we've sort of become friends. I have other close friends, but this girl... she just understands me completely. It's an incredible feeling, knowing that there's someone out there besides your family that knows what makes you smile, your little quirks, and funny beta fish stories :) All my other friends are very different from me, and I know they say that opposites attract, but sometimes those differences make talking about deep things hard. My other friends aren't as deep as me. Just her.
Q: What kind of friendship do you like?
A: I love sleepovers, and telling stories under the covers, our heads hidden.I love friends that still ask you what's wrong......even when you respond, "Shut up, why bother?"
I love friends that know everything about you, even the most embarassing things that you'd never tell your mom.
I like friends that are open and honest, no worries, that tell you when something is ugly or if you're being a complete jerk. 'Cause that's just what friends should do.
I love taking walks around the neigborhood and just spilling everything to eachother, stomach in knots from laughing too hard.
That, to me, is true friendship.

Honestly, this summer was a turning point for me. I had to just deal with some tough things, by myself, and now, things have turned around completely for me.

...And now I'm screaming.


  1. i know the feeling. my aunt vick has a cat named fezz, and i've never noticed it before. but when i went to visit a couple of weeks ago, i sat down downstairs by the fire to get warmer. fezz sat down next to me for a little while and we kind of had a silent conversation. when i went upstairs, he went in front, but he always looked back at me, as if to say, "i'll wait up."

    i think that's the meaning of a true friend. even if it's a cat, that felt nicer then anything my people friends have ever done. :)

  2. Lovely post! Merry Christmas! [please follow]

  3. First of...Merry Christmas Eve. I hope nothing but the best for you and your family.
    Okay. I'm really happy that you found this new friend. I think we all need a "Twin friend" (friends who are exactly the same). I just found my twin friend this year and I'm loving it. I agree with you on EVERYTHING you said about friendship. Well lots of love, hugs, and kisses<3