Friday, February 18, 2011

Bitter Serendipity

Some days aren't good, or bad, but a mixture of both. Today wasn't a completly bad day, but it also wasn't perfect. These are the days that leave me wondering: which one is it?Two periods before we got out of school, one of my sort-of-friends smiles at me, and says, "You know, you look so pretty with your hair up, and that color shirt. Because of both those things, you look twice as pretty as usual." I swear, I couldn't stop smiling. Because nobody knows that I'm self-consious about my hair being up, that I think I don't look good. Like it a message to me, that yes, I actually do look good the way I am. Isn't it funny how we don't see ourselves how others see us, and that the way others see us are a lot better than our own perspective?
When I got home, it felt actually nice out, so I sat on the porch and just closed my eyes, pretending that I was actually sitting on the beach, and not at my house with the snow still on the ground. And then, after that, I went in and... I don't know. I felt pulled in two directions, with this decision that I had to make that second. I'm not great at split-second thinking, and I constantly go back and forth with what I might want, so this automatically overwhelmed me. Then, he came over, and I just felt mortified, as I stood there, practically crying. I was yelled at, and then when everyone left, I just sat on the porch in silence, staring straight ahead.
But after that, something pulled me to coming back inside. I dunno, call it a gut feeling, but my little kitten was at the door, waiting for me. Like she just knew.
So... I picked her up (her automatically purring, her warm body vibrating against my chest) and took her into my room, to sit down and play with her. I put my decoration pillows on the floor and piled them up like big towers, and lifted up my comforter so she could explore inside it. All the while she kept nuzzling me and following me around. I'm a huge softy when it comes to animals, so she just put me in a better mood.
I love cats. They just look so lithe, and lanky, and elegant.

So, what do you think? Overall, it felt okay, this day. But now I'll stop talking about it. I don't want to miss another second of the still-light, ocean-feeling day.


  1. I just love those days... When you somehow stop thinking about bad things and just sit back to relax.

  2. if i can't decide what to think of a day, i try and think of twenty good things that happened to me that day. if i can't think of that many, it was a bad day.

  3. i think its a good thing that you have a mixture, mixing makes life so much more's like a whole bunch of flavors...always new ones...delicious.

  4. I have those kinds of days all the time. But, focusing on beautiful things instead of negative, makes life a lot more worth it! xx

  5. Today wasn't good or bad for me, either. I usually get all excited about Fridays because of the coming weekend, but I was kind of depressed today. Is it February? Is it the weather? I don't know, but I hope it ends soon, because I'm tired of feeling gloomy.
    I L O V E cats! I don't understand why people don't like them ♥

  6. Cats are my favorite pets. It's like they KNOW what you're thinking.
    I know what you mean..sometimes it feels like a bad day, but then I remember all of the good things that happen.
    Why do we let the bad things overpower the good?


  7. You lovely young thing, this is brilliant. You're such a good writer. x